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We've been married for 20 years, have three teenage children and very rarely go out on our own.
Instead, we spend our evenings cooking vast amounts of food (I still can't believe how much our sons eat) or acting as an anxious taxi service.
The irony of married life is that you live together but rarely have time to talk.
Reassuring for patients, but not a good look for a date. I thought about going to the cinema, but skulking in the back row deafened by surround sound seemed like cheating: the idea of a romantic date is that you talk to each other. Or perhaps, I thought, if we do talk, we'll end up discussing humdrum domestic detail, like defrosting the freezer or filling the crack in the kitchen ceiling. Maybe it was the candlelight; maybe it was the wine; maybe it was the food which, unlike our normal slapdash productions, was just perfect.
I did briefly consider something active, like going to a dance class – I'm pretty sure they do salsa in the local church hall – but I mentioned this to Matt and he gave me one of his dark looks. You don't want a romantic evening that involves your other half wishing he was somewhere else. Whatever the reason, we talked non-stop and not one word of DIY passed our lips. But as we walked home hand in hand on that cold March evening, it felt like marriage was still pretty romantic.
So we settled on our local restaurant, Franklins, much? This had the advantage of being within walking distance, so neither of us could start moaning at the last minute about all the effort involved or saying, as people often do, "I've had such a hard day, why don't we just stay in?
We could have a takeaway and watch University Challenge…" So there I was at 7pm putting on mascara in the bathroom mirror.
Positivity bias makes it easy for both partners “to feel optimistic about each other and their marriage, to assume positive things about their lives together, and to give each other the benefit of the doubt” (source). “Relationship partners are especially important when people are faced with a stressful event,” says social psychologist Paula Pietromonaco of the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, “because [partners] have the potential to comfort and calm the person who is experiencing distress or to hinder that person’s efforts to feel better.” (Science News)In other words, happily married couples turn Happily married couples find a way to calm each other down when an argument is escalating, either by making a joke, apologizing, offering a warm embrace, or simply by acknowledging that you both need some time to walk away and cool down.…as long as you’ve got enough resources to support each other’s dreams and sustain a desired quality of life.
A best friend doesn’t mind paying for two concert tickets because he/she knows that a concert without their partner would suck.The point isn’t that the actual workload is split evenly between partners, but that there is a sense of equality in the contributed by each person.In fact, best friends may actually take on more chores voluntarily when their partner is feeling sick or stressed out, knowing that he/she would do the same if the roles were reversed.They also never make you feel bad if they pay more than you because they recognize the other ways you contribute to the partnership (i.e.manual labor, acts of kindness, doing the taxes…).…because the most important part is simply hanging out together — whether you’re sipping insta-worthy cocktails at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas or sharing leftovers out of a styrofoam box in a Motel 6.…or whatever split both partners see as “fair.” Some couples split household chores by task (I’ll take care of the laundry if you mow the lawn), by day of the week, time of day, or simply by who gets home first.In fact, I think the social highlight of recent months was the parents' evening at our sons' school – and we didn't even stay for coffee and biscuits. Almost immediately I started worrying about what to wear.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating