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Erin T., a 30-year-old attorney from Washington, D.C., says, "I actually think it's really hot to lie in bed and talk about fantasies and turn-ons," she says.What if your partner thinks that you need him to take on a different persona in order to get turned on or that your wandering mind means you have a wandering eye too?

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"We were all good at playing pretend at one point in our lives—think back to your childhood and playing house," says Hannah D., a 25-year-old web developer from Los Angeles.

"Kids know they're making up stuff, but they don't care." At a certain age, we're supposed to put away the imaginary worlds and stop playing make-believe.

"But another thing my boyfriend and I have done is e-mail fantasies back and forth—I send him one, he sends me one.

We don't see each other every day, and doing that builds excitement and is basically e-mail foreplay for our next visit." Believe it or not, they have a shared Google Docs spreadsheet that details all the scenarios they want to try.

"I take off his shoes, rub his shoulders, fix him a martini, go down on him while he's drinking it, and the next thing I know, my high heels are up around his ears," she says. She recommends considering what type of man or woman in uniform turns you on. Don't Forget to Have Fun After all this planning, it might feel like you're about to audition for a role on Broadway, but don't get caught up in the theatrics of it all—the aim is to feel turned on, not win an Oscar.

"If you've always thought cops were hot, you can get handcuffs and a fake police badge on Amazon for less than ," she says. If you break character and burst into laughter, don't sweat it and move on, says pretty much everyone I talked to.

I've been in a loving relationship with my fiancé, Christopher, for more than a year now.

He wouldn't laugh at my desires, even if they included something kinky like dressing up as stuffed animals (this really is a thing, and it does it for some people—just do a Google search for , I decided to jump right in…but not without some help. First, Figure Out Your Fantasy If you already have a sexy scenario in mind, you can skip ahead…show-offs!

Say, "I had this really hot dream about you last night.

You were a professor and I was your student.…" By including your partner from the get-go, you make it clear that your fantasy is just that—and, no, you don't really want to sleep with the mailman.

(Unless you really do want to sleep with the mailman.

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