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Any INFJs here who have learned how to be less intense? That behavior has probably served you well at some times. Well, those are just some ideas and thoughts for you to consider.Close your eyes and think of a time and place where you were relaxed and carefree. You may have just overgeneralised it to toomany situations, some of which it isn't called for. I do not hang around with people who find me too intense. Fw-300 #ya-qn-sort h2 /* Breadcrumb */ #ya-question-breadcrumb #ya-question-breadcrumb i #ya-question-breadcrumb a #bc .ya-q-full-text, .ya-q-text #ya-question-detail h1 html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-text html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] #ya-question-detail h1, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] #ya-question-detail h1 /* Trending Now */ /* Center Rail */ #ya-center-rail .profile-banner-default .ya-ba-title #Stencil . Bgc-lgr .tupwrap .comment-text /* Right Rail */ #Stencil .

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When you think of this subject substitute intense for passionate.

the world is severely short of people who are passionate about what they do and all the slackers that got nowhere in their life hate people who are passionate and have the will and drive to not get dragged into that pit of bullshit.

This seems to also help me use what I feel are the upsides of being INFJ (empathy, understanding, intuition) without feeling like I need to take on or solve every problem I run across or take myself too seriously (which I have a tendency to do at times :-).

Suggestions from one who has coached people in business situations with the same issue: if you speak quickly, practice slowing it down some; if you use strong intonations in your sentences (try recording your end only of a phone conversation to find out and play it back), then practice speaking with a little less emphasis--think of your intonation pattern if you were simply saying, "Please pass the salt" at the dinner table.

I'm not advocating any particular thing here but just sharing my experience.

In my case, I have found that a yoga and meditation practice help me to be a calmer and more focused version of myself.

The trouble is, I just can't strike the balance. Just break he wall down in one interaction where it would't matter and see if you survive.

If I get self conscious of this trait, I become outright cold and stoic, which is also an unattractive way to act. Find out if your world falls apart if you're not in complete control.

Too often, a mistake men and women make early in dating is overthinking things.

By date two or three, you won’t know if this person…

Being who we are is great, and no point trying to be who/what we are not.

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